| WHOA |
[Aug. 8th, 2009|10:59 pm] |
 
www.genuinefearofbees.com
I don't know that anyone reads this, but I put a comic page up today. Let me know what you think about the art, etc, ask any questions. It's so lonely in here. D:
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 7th, 2008|06:50 pm] |
A character page from a pitch book I'm working on for a cartoon called Kitchen Fun. It's a learning experience. I don't know if I'll ever end up actually pitching anything, but I'd like to.
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2007|07:40 pm] |
Sam and Fuzzy: The Movie– Script: Act 5: The end
Narrator
Our heroes have almost uncovered the truth. What will stand in the way of justice? Found out, right now!
FADE IN: John and Sam are in the underground. Fuzzy is just ahead riding a shark.
John
So this is the underground. I’d heard legends, but I never imagined..(cuts off)
Sam
I haven’t been down here in years. It brings back a lot of memories.
There is a flurry of activity ahead. Fuzzy is suddenly jumped by three cowninjas.
Fuzzy
Sam! Save me!
Sam
I’m coming Fuzzy!
Sam runs at the ninjas, but they push him down and escape with Fuzzy.
Sam
Come on, John, we have to save Fuzzy!
They run down the tunnel. They come to an abandoned street. This is where we replay the first scene.
The camera pans in on an abandoned street. It is mid-afternoon, sunny with a hint of cloud, rain predicted later in the day and a high of 17. A lone piece of paper is blown across the screen.
Sam
My god, John. Noone’s here.
John
Where could they have gone Captain Sam?
Sam
I don’t know John, but we better find ‘em.
All of a sudden, ninjas in cowbot hats jump out of the shadows wielding pistols and looking menacing, insofar as a mask can look menacing. [Director’s note: exaggerate the eyebrows and they will look angrier]
Ninjas
STOP, SAM, SCOURGE OF CRIMINALS. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
The ninjas run at Sam and jump on top of him in a big pile
John(concerned)
SAM? SAM! SAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
All of a sudden the pile of ninjas explodes outwards. SFX: KABLUSH! Sam is standing in the middle with a chainsaw. There are ninjas lying in pain around him.
Sam
Can’t touch this. (dances)
John
Sam. there’s more!
The camera pans across. There are thousands of Cowninjas filing onto the street.
Sam
Well, I guess this is where we make our final stand buddy.
A ninja walks to the front. He is wearing a laurel and toga.
Laurel Ninja
Hello, heatbags. SFX: DUM DUM DUMMMM
Sam
Fridge? But, I killed you.
Fridge
How can you kill that, which has no life?
Sam
By cutting your head off! You’re dead!
Fridge
I am back Sam, and this time, you won’t stop me. As we speak, Fridgedonalds restaurants are being set up all across the world. In hours time, people will be enjoying delicious fast food at low low prices. And you know what will happen, Sam, when they have eaten the food? They will love it, Sam, and return for more. This is how I build my empire, Sam. I will control the fast food world!!
Sam
You monster!
Fridge
No, Sam. You are the monster.
He motions for the cowninjas to advance. They begin to walk towards Sam and John, who stand back to back.
Sam
Here it goes John. Before we die I’d just like to say. Well.. I lo-
A taxicab bursts in through the ceiling of the cavern. It drives through the crowd of Cowninjas, crushing a line of them, and skids to a halt in front of Sam and John. The door opens and a voice speaks.
Voice
Get in.
They jump into the back of the cab and it drives away, cowninjas bumping off the hood.
Sam
Who are you?
Voice
You know who I am, Sam.
Sam
We have to save Fuzzy!
Voice
I know.
The car drives through the town, taking quick turns and losing the ninjas. It stops at an alleyway.
Voice
Get out here. You will find your friend in a building two streets over. Be careful.
Sam
Wait! What’s your name?
Voice (chuckles)
You can call me… Carlyle.
The car drives off.
John
Come on, Sam, let’s go save Fuzzy.
They run across the street and the camera pans up over the building to show the roofs and streets crawling with cowninjas.
FADE OUT
END SCENE
OPEN SCENE: Sam and John are tied in a chair. Fuzzy is next to them, tied up and smoking a mouthfull of cigars.
Sam
Fuzzy, this is a kid’s movie. [Crowds love self-referencial jokes]
Fuzzy
Oh, right. (puts out the cigars)
Fridge walks in
Fridge
How do you like my cunning trap Sam?
Sam
How.. How did you know we’d be here.
Fridge
Because, Sam, I—
His head is sliced off from behind. A shadowy figure walks in.
Carlyle
Hello Sam
Sam and John
Carlyle?!
Carlyle
I’m afraid so, Sam. You see, I figured out that crime pays far more than hero work.
Sam
So you’re behind the fast-food chain?
Carlyle
I’m behind so much more than that. (He gets closer) So much more.
Sam
You won’t get away with this Carl!
Carlyle
Don’t you see Sam!? I already have! No matter what you do, children will be eating my burgers by sunrise. I will gradually dominate the fast food market. And there’s no way you can stop it.
Sam
I don’t have to stop it.
Carlyle
Wha—what?
Sam
Don’t you see Carlyle? People have been eating fast food since the dawn of time. It doesn’t matter where their food is coming from. I don’t have to stop your restaurant Carlyle… I just have to stop you.
Sam launches his chair at Carlyle, knocking him off his feet.
Sam
NOW, JOHN!
John stands up, and Fuzzy cuts through his bonds with one of the swordfish he was juggling with earlier. John leaps across the room to bar Carlyle from leaving.
John
Sorry Carl.
John judo chops Carlyle across the neck and Carlyle falls to the floor.
FADE OUT
END SCENE
OPEN SCENE
Sam and John are sitting in the office. Fuzzy is spinning on the fan in scuba gear. Sam is reading a newspaper and John is massaging his shoulders and neck.
Sam
Fridgedonald’s sure is doing well
John
Mmmm
Sam
Feel like eating there tonight?
John
Sure thing.
There is a large explosion that shakes the apartment. SFX: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
They run outside. There is a large crater across the road. A skinny man climbs out of it.
Skinny Man (Leroy)
Sam! They blew. Up. My rest. Aurant. Ahhgg. GGggg. Auughhg. (Dies)
Sam
Leroy? LEROY? LEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY!!!
John
What’s happening this time Sam.
Sam
I don’t know John. But we’re going to find out!
Fuzzy runs across the screen wearing a chicken costume.
Run credits. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 22nd, 2007|07:24 pm] |
Sam and Fuzzy: The Movie – Partial Script, Act 3
OPEN SCENE: John and Sam are walking down a street. It is night, humid and cloudy with a high of 9. Fuzzy is close behind but he is on a surfboard to which he has attached wheels.
John
Tell me again where we’re going ,Sam.
Sam
We’re going to see an old friend John. But it won’t be easy. There are plenty of enemies in this part of town.
All of a sudden a shuriken flies out of the shadows. Sam deflects it with his sword and uses his telekinetic powers to pull the assailant into the open. It is a grrbil (hank)
Hank
Let go of me, Usurper. You will never find out my plans, no matter how much you may torture me.
Sam
Then I won’t. (He slices Hank’s head off with a single slice)
Hank
(Gurgling noise)
Sam
I told you, John. We have to be very careful.
They walk offscreen.
CUT TO: Inside a dark building. Suddenly, the door is kicked in in an explosion of light. Sam is sillhouetted in the doorway. We see flickers in the shadows, as if there are Cowninjas hiding there. Sam walks in.
Sam(whisper)
Come in, John. We have to move quickly.
John follows him in. Sam walks up to the back wall and presses in a brick. The whole wall slides back and they walk in.
Mysterious Voice (old and crackly)
Whoo goess theere?
Sam (kneels)
It is I, lord Butcher.
Butcher is shown. He is a large cat, sitting on a throne.
Butcher
Ah Sam, stand stand. And tell your friend to do the same.
Sam
Lord Butcher, this is John, my most loyal and beloved friend. We seek council with you.
Butcher
What is it you seek to know, friend?
Sam
I must know, Lord, who has been carrying out this series of attacks on foreign food restaurants. Gregory, lord… Gregory is dead.
Butcher (pauses)
He was a noble soul, Sam. It is sad to hear of his passing. But I cannot tell you that which you seek. You must look deep inside yourself, Sam, to find the answer.
Sam
I… I understand, Lord.
Butcher (gesturing at John)
Keep this one close. He will be a great help later on.
Sam
Yes, Lord.
Butcher
And you should visit more often. We never see you anymore.
Sam
We?
Mike Clark walks in.
Mike
Hello Sam.
Sam (gasps)
My god…
END SCENE
OPEN SCENE: Our heroes are walking out on the street again. It is approaching dawn, clouds are cleared and it was looking up to be a sunny day, with a high of 19. Mike is with them.
Mike
So we got to Brazil, and the entire soccer team was kidnapped by natives! Can you believe it? I manage to escape and call for help – too late of course, the whole team was eaten – so I come back here and hole up with Butch.
Sam
Hell of a story Mike. Right, John.
John
Right, Sam!
All of a sudden two Cowninjas jump out of the shadows.
Cowninja 1 (Jared)
Stop, usurper. We can’t allow you to continue.
Jared pulls out a gun and shoots at Sam. Mike jumps in the way of the bullet in slow motion. He is hit, and Sam kills both Cowninjas in a blood rage.
Sam(kneeling by Mike)
Mike.. buddy, you’re gonna be ok.
Mike
Nah, Sam. It’s the end for me. (coughs) What do I have to live for anyway? Look, Sam, I’ll tell you one thing… Look… (coughs) Undergr..---unnnddeaerrggrgrgagrg. (dies)
Sam
What? Mike? What’d you say? Mike? MIKE? MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKEEEEE!!!
John
What’d he say Sam?
Sam
I dunno, something about under. Under what?
John
Perhaps… Perhaps under, the ground!
Sam
My god John… You’re brilliant! John, we’re going… to the underground!
END SCENE
END ACT 3 |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2007|06:20 pm] |
Sam and Fuzzy: The Movie --- Partial Script: Act 2
Open next act. They are back in the office, Fuzzy is on stilts outside the window throwing rocks at birds and John and Sam are talking about the mystery.
John
How are we gonna solve this mystery, best buddy?
Sam
How we solve every mystery, John. By getting to the source. We’re going to see…(turns around) THE ORACLE!
John
Are… Are you sure we can do that?
Sam
No, John. I’m positive.
CUT TO: A black car pulling up to a building. Fuzzy is behind it being pulled along on a skateboard. It stops and John and Sam get out wearing trench coats and sunglasses (an obvious reference to Scary movie 3). They walk into the building.
Sam
Remember, John. When you see her, don’t let her see your fear. She feeds off it.
John
O..Ok Sam.
They get into an elevator, and the camera cuts to another floor where the elevator stops and they get out. SFX: DING!
Sam
You go first buddy.
John walks into the oracles room. Sam sits on a chair outside and reads Macleans.
CUT TO: inside the room. John walks down the hall and sees Fuzzy to the right lifting a fork with his mind.
John
Fuzzy, when did you develop telekinetic powers?
Fuzzy
Just remember, there is no fuzzy.
The fork flies up and embeds itself in the ceiling. John looks up and looks back down. When he looks down again, Fuzzy is gone. A large man comes out wearing a hat.
Large Man
Hello. I am Mister Death.
John
Hello Mr Death, I like your hat.
Mr Death
What hat? (the hat is gone)
John looks weirded out.
Mr Death
She will see you now.
John enters the kitchen. There is a woman there who is baking.
Woman
Hello, I am Sexxica. And don’t worry about the possessed fridge.
John turns around and looks.
John
What possessed fridge?
Sexxica
There is no possessed fridge.
John(nods)
I understand.
[Director’s note: This is foreshadowing. That means it will be explained in great detail later.]
John walks out.
CUT TO: Outside, Sam is making tiny origami fish out of the Maclean’s. John walks out of the apartment.
John
She said-
Sam
No, don’t tell me. It is for only you. I am such a great detective I don’t need it.
John
You’re right Sam. You’re so right. You’re always right. And I-
Sam
Shh, not here. We have to leave.
They exit.
END SCENE
OPEN SCENE: We are underground. It is dark and there is a gathering of people. There are 4 important people on a small platform, and around 20 others. They are Cowninjas, the last remaining subsect of the Ninja Mafia.
Cowninja council member 1 (Jed)
I have called you here today to discuss… a problem. We all know the great usurper, Sam. (He holds up an artists rendering of Sam[Deniro]) Well, he’s on our trail now, and we have to make sure that he doesn’t trail us all the way along our trail. To here. SFX: DUNDUNDUNNNNN.
Cowninja Peon 1 (Lars)
Isn’t it about time we give up shop anyway? We don’t do anything other than blow up foreign food restaurants.
Jed takes out a six-shooter and shoots Lars.
Jed
Any more questions or asinine comments? (no hands are raised) Good. It is not our place to question the Upper Levels or their orders. We are to keep destroying foreign food stores until instructed otherwise. Platoons 31, 7 and 19, you are to watch the usurper and make sure he doesn’t follow the trail too deep into the rabbit hole. If he gets to close you should… el-.. kill him. SFX: DUUUUUMMMMMMM.
END SCENE
OPEN SCENE: Sam and John are back in the office. Fuzzy is climbing across the roof with plungers for feet.
Fuzzy
Look, Sam! I’m BatmaN!
Sam
NOT NOW FUZZY, John and I have important work to do.
John (massaging Sam’s shoulders)
Where do we start looking for Gregory’s killers Sam?
Sam
I don’t know John. We’re just on the tip of the iceberg. If we want to dig down to where the whales live, we’re going to have to do a lot of digging. But I know one thing for sure, there’s someone we need to talk to.
John
Who, Sam, buddy?
Sam
John… We need to find butcher.
END OF ACT 2 |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2007|04:39 pm] |
Sam and Fuzzy: The Movie --- Partial Script
OPEN SCENE. The camera pans in on an abandoned street. It is mid-afternoon, sunny with a hint of cloud, rain predicted later in the day and a high of 17. A lone piece of paper is blown across the screen. Enter our heroes: Sam and John, the crime-solving duo.
Sam
My god, John. Noone’s here.
John
Where could they have gone Captain Sam?
Sam
I don’t know John, but we better find ‘em.
All of a sudden, ninjas in cowbot hats jump out of the shadows wielding pistols and looking menacing, insofar as a mask can look menacing. [Director’s note: exaggerate the eyebrows and they will look angrier]
Ninjas
STOP, SAM, SCOURGE OF CRIMINALS. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
The ninjas run at Sam and jump on top of him in a big pile
John(concerned)
SAM? SAM! SAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
All of a sudden the pile of ninjas explodes outwards. SFX: KABLUSH! Sam is standing in the middle with a chainsaw. There are ninjas lying in pain around him.
Sam
Can’t touch this. (dances)
END SCENE
OPEN SCENE:
Caption: Ten Days Earlier
Sam, Fuzzy and John are sitting in Sam’s detective office. Fuzzy is setting the potted plant on fire and John is massaging Sam’s scalp, indian style.
Fuzzy
[Hilarious witticism]
John
Wow, Sam. You’re really tense.
Sam
Thanks for the massage John. I’m glad I hired a fully licensed masseus (SP?) and sex therapist. (laughs)
John
Ha ha ha, yes. Those night classes were worth it!
There is an explosion and the office shakes. SFX: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!
John
Holy smokes, Sam! What on Earth was that?
Sam
I don’t know, best buddy, but we should investigate
An INVESTIGATE! Logo flashes on the screen
John
YES! My first investigation, not counting that first one with the dead stripper.
CUT TO: Sam, John and Fuzzy standing in the alley outside. Fuzzy is doing something zany AS USUAL. (amirite Sam? lol)
Sam
The kielbasa store, its—it’s gone!
Camera pans to show a huge smoking crater, with a fat Greek man climbing out of it.
Fat man (Gregory)
Sam-a! They-a blew up-a my house-a!
Sam
Don’t worry Gregory, we’ll find who did this.
Gregory
Avenge-a my death-a, el Samo! Arrr. Arrrrgl-gl-gl. Arrhhhhhhh…
(Gregory dies)
Sam (kneels)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!
John
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo!
Fuzzy(walking up juggling swordfish)
Hey Sam, what’s going on?
Sam
Not now, Fuzzy. John and I have a mystery to solve!
Fuzzy (dark aside)
Ever since that John fellow was hired, I haven’t been as close to Sam. I’ve been as zany as I can, with no results. It sure is a shame that John and Sam are so crazy close, as though they’ve been best friends their whole life and will never ever part.
Fuzzy makes like a tree.
John
SAM! What do we do now?
Sam
I don’t know, John, but it will be action-packed, hilarious and epic. Like in the movies.
END ACT 1 |
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